Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Not Thinking

I'm trying to put everything out of my mind. Life is insane right now, insanely good. It's a little stressful, but if you aren't stressed you aren't trying hard enough in my mind. I find out if I get into boarding school in 13 days. I told myself I wasn't going to think about it, that I wasn't going to jinx it but I can't hold it in.

My whole future is going to be decided in 13 days. Am I going to be moving far away? Will I have to be at soccer conditioning this summer for Central meaning I can't go to precollege at NYU? Will I be able to play soccer next year on a club team, and if so when/who/where do I try out? Am I going to be going to Otterbein next year if I don't get in? 

Even writing this is difficult, my brain seems to shut down as soon as I think about it. As a result I have been trying to forget about it just don't think. I've been on autopilot, volunteering triple my normal hours, working on projects, catching up on the Walking Dead, anything except think. But when I look around me there are so many people that are important to me here in Westerville, which is something I didn't think was going to happen. Freshman year I distanced myself from people so much with the expectation I was going to go away the next year. After I didn't get in I realized I needed good friends to be around. This has come at a cost. I love them so much. I would do anything for them because they are genuinely amazing people. Leaving them after developing such great relationships with them is a lot harder than I thought I would allow it to be. So I haven't been thinking. Trying to enjoy the moment, but that only lasts for so long. I needed to write.

My thoughts are not very coherent right now; then again I'm not thinking.

Sunday, January 25, 2015


I'm so tired right now, so keep that in mind while reading this.

I've been told I'm a good writer, but I do not see how this is a possible thing. You've read my blog right?

I have a really good friend, or at least I consider her a really good friend, and she is an amazing writer. She picks up a pen and meaningful metaphors, analogies, poems, comparisons, arguments, and truths come out of it. I wish my words were as powerful as hers.

My words are factual. They are not funny. They are not inspiring. They are not unique. They are well spoken facts.

Why can't they be more meaningful.

So I have something to tell you. I got my high school dream job. I'm going to work at Sky Ranch this summer as a lifeguard. When I found out I was in complete shock. I am still in shock. I love camp so much, and now I get paid to be there. While I'm not going to be having fun all day I'm going to be serving the Lord by making sure everyone is safe and activities go smoothly which is much more rewarding than being a camper. Now I actually get to WORK there. I'm no longer that weird camper who stays at camp for like all summer after everyone else leaves after a week, now I'm one of the staff members. I will be in the know, it won't be awkward for counselors to speak to me like I know things that don't pertain to Christian camp in Texas. I can go out with my friends that are counselors to Tyler on my night off. I get to have Bible study in a group of people with more knowledge than I could imagine. While the perks of being "staff" are awesome, the fact I get to grow in my relationship with the Lord and meet people who are there for the same purpose is more than I could ever ask for in a job I get paid to do.

Lord, show me how I can make my words meaningful.

A Good (But Tiring) Weekend in Columbus

Not in New York this weekend. Sad day, but I did get to do some fun things in Columbus this weekend.
Saturday I started off the day by running in the NHL AllStar 5k with four thousand other people. It was pretty fun and I did pretty well considering I'm not in top condition right now, I got fourth in the female under 19 group, I good with that.

Later that afternoon was a moment I have been preparing for, preparing for weeks in fact. It was the OMEA Solo and Ensemble performance. You probably have absolutely no idea what this means, basically you learn a piece (there are different difficulty levels) and perform it in front of a judge with a piano accompanist. You also have to know all of your scales and follow a bunch of stupid rules like having your own original copy and a photocopy of the music AND the measures on the original copy have to be numbered before you hand it to the judge. Like I said, a bunch of stupid rules. Anyway I got up there and performed Scaramouche, an alto saxophone standard, which was in the highest difficulty level. Somehow I magically got a I, pronounced O-N-E, which is the highest score you can receive. I was ecstatic to say the least. Last year I performed a maximum difficulty level piece and received a II, which is one grade below a I just in case I needed to explain that for you. So yeah, it was a pretty good day. This is a picture of me and my fellow classmates who performed, except for the girl standing next to me, she was just there to support but didn't actually perform. 

Today (Sunday) was the actual NHL AllStar Game. I was fortunate enough to go, it was pretty sweet. I went ice skating at the rink they set up downtown and then went to the Fan Fair where I got to meet the Stanley Cup. The AllStar Game itself was awesome but also a little disappointing. I thought it was going to be a real game but the guys weren't trying very hard. Let me rephrase that, the defense wasn't trying very hard. To put it in perspective the end score was like 18-13 or something. There were no fouls in the whole game and they didn't really play like it was real hockey which was a little disappointing. Aside from that it was pretty sweet to see such awesome players all in one spot. On top of that Fall Out Boy performed at the end of the first period which was AMAZING. I really want to go to their tour this summer, they are sweet. So yeah, it was another good day but SUPPPPEERR long. I left my house at 11:00 and didn't get home until 9:00 and no homework got done yesterday because of the crazy events and not a lot got done today either. GGRRRR PLEASE BE A SNOW DAY TOMORROW!!!

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Ice Skating in the Park

It was beautiful outside today, cold, but gorgeous. I started out the morning by walking to Central Park to go ice skating and we ended up staying most of the day at the park. I got on the ice around 10:20 and we didn't leave until 4:40. I took breaks of course, but only when the ice was being resurfaced and to do physics homework, thanks Mr. Hunt. Skating was amazing, I felt in the zone and loving life while skating in an arbitrary circle. 

After, we went to a couple stores on 5th Ave, particularly looking for some Canada Goose jackets in the flesh. They are so popular here that only the ugly ones are left in stores, but they are $800 so I'm not getting one anytime soon. As per all of my trips to New York it is customary to go to Guy's American Bar and Grill for dinner, so that's where we ended up for dinner. After dinner we went to Bryant Park for more ice skating because why not and it's free if you have your own skates. It was a mob scene, I only skated for maybe 20 minutes, but that's fine because I had already skated for like 5 hours. If you read my last post about my previous day you would  know that I went to the Elephant Man yesterday and was going to try and go back today to see if Bradley would come out of the stage door. After Bryant I went back to the Booth Theater and waited. Bradley didn't come out but Patricia did, and I also saw somebody else cool too. Waiting by the stage door to be let in by security I noticed a woman who looked extremely like Olivia Wilde. I pointed it out to the person next to me who I had been talking too a bit but I don't think she took it too seriously. Then after the woman was let in to the door people asked the guards if it was Olivia Wilde and, as you would assume, was in fact Olivia Wilde. That made up for the fact Bradley didn't come out. Bradley rarely comes out after the show, he didn't come out after last nights, the Saturday matinee or the Saturday evening show, and the woman who stood next to me tried to come see him three weeks ago and he didn't come out then either. Luck of the draw I guess, but he doesn't show his face much. Patricia Clarksen came out though, so I have 2 out of the 3 stars signatures on the Play Bill. I might try again tomorrow, but I don't think I'll be able to make it because we are going to Brooklyn, but who knows. 

Friday, January 16, 2015

The Best Day

Today was amazing, I mean, I think it was the best day of my life.

If you know anything about me then you will know that my dream is to be a writer and/or producer for television and movies. My ideal dream is to work/intern at NBC and to some day work at the Tonight Show. So these are so pretty childish, unrealistic dreams, but I don't care: haters gonna hate. Okay, back to the point. Today I was in New York City, this week was my 16th birthday and coming to New York was my present. To start off the day we went to NYU for a campus tour. NYU is my dream school. Having been in New York several times but never visiting campus I only had ideas about what the real Greenwich Village would be like. Let me tell you, it is insane in the membrane. NYU is the greatest place I have ever been, while being in the greatest place on earth. The limitless program opportunities and creative vibe made me never want to leave; I know this is where I need to be. The university has an entire database just for NYU students that provides exclusive internships, only available to university students. Because of their mission to allow students to be one with the city they have a ticket office that is part of campus where you can get sports, broadway, comedy, and any other show tickets you can think of for like 80% CHEAPER THAN FACE VALUE! The school just exudes every molecule of my being.

After the tour we walked around and ate at a Mediterranean Chipotle where I caught up on some homework. We walked a little more and realized we were going in the wrong direction so we caught a cab to Rockefeller. You might be thinking, "Emma why were you going to Rockefeller, it's boring and you've been there a million times." Let me get this straight 1.) Rockefeller will never be boring 2.) Shut up, you're just jealous because I got to go to the Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon AGAIN. Yupppp, I went again. Jimmy is one of my all time heroes, but it's not really just Jimmy, it's everyone who contributes to making a late night talk show go on smoothly, one take, every night, five nights a week. The show wasn't as exciting as the first time because nobody could beat my past experience where we had a surprise (Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels came and did a pre-recorded skit and interview for a future episode). Tonight it was Brian Williams, Victoria Justice, and Joseph Topolsky. Thank You Notes were great, Jimmy had a small hiccup in the monologue (his voice cracked so he had to do it again), there was a slight lighting problem where Higgins and Jimmy riffed Brian Williams so hard about how he's a robot who needs special lights because he's really a hologram while they were waiting for the lights to get fixed. Seth Herzog (Zog) was hilarious, dancing and warming up the crowd, making stupid, funny jokes. Our seats were right in the middle and because the episode was short, you can see me and my dad in the audience at the end of the episode. We were sitting in the upper half of the stage, but dead center. It was stinkn' awesome, I will never get over it. Even if I end up working here, I don't think the experience of seeing the show be recorded every day ever gets old. 

After The Tonight Show and NYU you would think my day was over, right? It wasn't. After Fallon I went to go see the Elephant Man, staring Bradley Cooper, Patricia Clarksen, and Alessandro Nivola. The play was amazing. Cooper held his body in such odd positions and his speech was so dramatically changed, it was amazing to watch. It's even stranger watching it right after seeing American Sniper the night before. He better win the Oscar this year, because he is one talented man. After the play I went to the stage door, hoping Bradley would come out as he usually does. First, Alessandro came out and was able to sign my Play Bill, but Bradley had an "emergency" and couldn't come out. I'm not mad, but I just wish they would have told us a little sooner because I was standing in 10 degree weather waiting for nobody. I'm hoping to go back after tomorrow night's show to see if he'll come out, but if I don't end up going the whole thing was amazing either way. 

Today was amazing, and man am I tired. More to come from my New York adventures, but I don't think anything will ever top today. 

Thursday, December 25, 2014

I Hate Christmas

       The materialistic, selfish side of Christmas is amazing. I love it because I'm a greedy bastard who loves money and presents. With that in mind, I hate the emotional stress that familys place on Christmas. All I want to do is relax and I'm so mad I can't even concentrate on anything other than the fury and disgust that is inside of me.
       They don't understand. Every word I say is regarded as "she's just a teenager." If I talk too much I'm being aggressive and annoying. If I talk too little I'm being passive and moody. I'M JUST BEING MYSELF WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME. What if I have nothing to say. What if I really want to talk about something. Why does this all have to go under the category of "teenager" and not regarded as a person's character.
       This year, right now actually, we are in Texas visiting my aunt and her family. I hate it. Previously we have gone to my other aunt and uncle's house and it is fantastic. Or when we actually lived in Texas I would get to be at my house. My house. My Texas aunt's house is like hell on earth. It's perfect for a couple of two with no kids but other than that it is the worst place I have had to stay in my entire life. There are two extra bedrooms, that's nice, but the walls are paper thin. It's a one story house and the bedrooms are basically in the living room. There is only one TV. Okay, this is really first world of me to say, but literally all there is to do at her house is watch TV, it's on 24/7, but nobody can agree on what to watch. If I change the channel she takes it personally that what she's playing "isn't good enough" or that I'm being selfish watching what I want to watch WHEN I'M THE ONLY ONE WATCHING! If you want to watch something, ask and I'll be glad to change to whatever crappy football game or nostalgic film you want to watch. That's perfectly fine with me but don't blame me for taking over the television. I can't sleep in her house. The walls are so thin that when the refrigerator is making ice in the middle of the night it wakes me up. Another first world problem, the WiFi doesn't work. It is so slow even trying to watch TV or YouTube from my computer instead of using the actual TV is impossible.
       Out of all the things that make Christmas the worst is the way my aunt reacts to anything that is not perfectly according to her plan. She asked me if I slept well, I made the wrong decision and told her the truth that I didn't sleep at all because I couldn't fall asleep due to the crashing ice of the refrigerator. She was immediately defensive saying, "I put blankets right here for you, did you use them? I see the pillow I laid out for you hasn't moved, did you evEN TRY TO GO TO SLEEP?" (I didn't use the pillow because I brought my own from home) We were going to the movies this afternoon to a dinner theater and she said we needed to leave the house at 2:30, the movie starts at 3:50. Granted it takes about 30 minutes to get there but that leaves 50 minutes to sit around. I said, "We don't need to leave that early, don't you think. That means there will be 50 minutes until the show starts." She replied, "I'm not debating this, it is non-negotiable Emma Dyer." I know I'm a teenager and that everything I say is seen by adults as being a smart ass, BUT I WASN'T DOING THAT. I WAS JUST MAKING SURE SHE MEANT WHAT SHE SAID, CONFIRMING, CLARIFYING! After the movie (we saw Into the Woods) she asked, "Did you know that was going to be a musical?" (If you didn't know that is the WHOLE PREMISE OF THE MOVIE) I replied saying yes I knew that was a musical, which is why I suggested a different movie if that wasn't what people were expecting. Apparently when I said this prior to the movie nobody listened to the stupid, moody, ignorant, annoying teenager. My aunt replied sassily, "Well we should have just left you at home now shouldn't we have."
       She doesn't listen to what I'm saying. She doesn't understand my family. She wouldn't even talk to my mother after we moved away from Texas because we "abandoned her." My dad LOST HIS JOB so we MOVED TO OHIO. Do you think that was my mother's fault, or my fault. Apparently in her mind it was.
       I feel bad accepting the $50 Amazon gift card she gave me because I don't deserve it. My rage for this trip is driving me insane, I want to enjoy my break not be perpetually annoyed and stressed by a person I see once every couple years.
       Also I want to make this clear, the only person who annoys me is my aunt. In fact, I love everyone else so much, especially my cousins. If only she would LISTEN. But that's impossible for her, the world revolves around her and Arkansas Razorback football and her unborn grandchild. I am nothing, just an annoyance for a few days, and I guess that's where I'll remain.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014